Understanding a Love Relationship – Part 1
People meet, people fall in love, get married… And then it turns out that “happily ever after” for some reason doesn’t work out at allš„ŗ. Like love, and carrots, but what to do with scattered socks, and unwashed dishes, and food not like mom’s? And what about money, and if a child is born, who is responsible for him?
Quarrels break out as if out of the blue, and even yesterday, a loved one begins to cause irritation bordering on hatred.
Here one could say, they say, this life kills love.
Also read: How much you should earn before getting married?
You can say something, but the point here is not at all in everyday life, but in the fact that, when creating a family, few people think about things that are worth negotiating. Relationships and marriage, as their logical continuation, are about agreements no less than about love.
But what to do now, when the stuffing can no longer be turned back, and you are already married? Divorce? Tolerate? Love no matter what? Or maybe have an affair on the side? Complain to your mom or friends? Start a blog and discuss your relationship there? Turn to good old liquor?
As you can see, there are options. And here it is important to understand what you – that’s what you personally – want from this life and these relationships? And do you want to be in a relationship at all, to be married?
Of course, such a question should have been asked before the marriage stamp appeared in your passport, but now itās not too late either.
Further actions depend on the answer. And the most important of them is to start talking with your partner. Do not yell, do not hysteria, do not fawn, do not manipulate, but talk about what is important, what is inconvenient, what worries, what is not spoken, does not meet your expectations (oh, those expectations! š). And not only talk, but also listen to what your loved one says. Listen and not dismiss, they say, yes it is so, then he will change his mind!
Just assume that he/she is seriously talking to you about what worries him/her, worries, causes fear, inconvenience, anger, irritation. What does he hope for and what are his/her expectations of you and your relationship. Many discoveries await you, and not all of them will be pleasant.
In addition, it is not so easy to take and rebuild communication, especially when āfiā has already been expressed many times for socks, dishes, wages and who owes what to whom.
But if you understand that you still donāt have relationships as such (āš» scandals, intimacy and even having children do not make two people partners yet), and it depends only on the two of you whether you will have them, then the opportunity to clarify the conditions of your mutual agreement on the relationship will become very real. Well, love … Love will not go anywhere if you have itš¤